A life too short

Mary and her Family

Jo and I received the news this Saturday that her oldest sister, Mary, passed away after a courageous seven year battle with colon cancer.  I thought I would share some of memories and thoughts about my sister-in-law and the hole that she leaves in the world with her passing.

Mary raised four great children and was fortunate to fight the cancer to a draw long enough to welcome her three grandchildren into this world.  She helped my brother-in-law, Mike, by being both loving at times and critical at times, which every husband needs, even if we don't always want to admit it.  As I think back over my time knowing Mary, I will miss:

• Her constant efforts to convince us (OK it is mostly me, but I get to use the royal us now and then) to paint our walls with some color other than relocation beige - which as anyone who has seen any of the homes we have owned is a discussion that she didn't win.  But she never gave up trying even as we moved house to house.
• The fun dinner time conversations where she would share nursing stories that generally involved some disgusting bodily fluid or body part.
• Her need for speed when behind the wheel.  Although to be fair, she might have inherited that from her father.
• Her visit to our first, new house with the entire family and the thrill of discovering we had a broken sewer pipe (which happened while it was being constructed but we didn't know), in the middle of winter, with eight people in the house.
• The ability to laugh at herself, tell a funny story, and in general make those around her feel a little happier.
• Her incredible devotion to a dog that, as near as I could tell, was single minded in trying to destroy the inside of her house using any means possible.
• Her need to fill a coffee cup up above the brim where only the surface tension of the water would keep it in the cup and then proceed to walk with it.

The three sisters

There are too many stories that come from the 32 years that I had the opportunity to know Mary to share them all here that have created the image of her that I will carry with me.  I would say, that she was an interesting person with a warm heart and flaws that only made her more interesting to know.

As Mary struggled with the colon cancer and the treatments that represent cancer therapy today, she was the model for how everyone should approach these difficult moments in life - whether it is unwanted medical diagnosis, or just a bad day at work.  She was always upbeat, convinced she would beat the cancer, and voiced only minor complaints as she went through the standard pharmaceutical treatments, novel new therapies in early trials, repeated surgeries, chemotherapy treatments, and radiation treatments.  The side effects of these treatments would leave anyone exhausted and ready to give up, yet throughout Mary always managed to remain optimistic and hopeful.  I only hope that someday I can learn to deal with the difficulties in my life, that are so minor by comparison, with as much grace as she managed.

There is much more to say to adequately describe her impact on Jo and me, but let me close with we will miss having her around to provide us her thoughts for the rest of the time we get to enjoy here.